Written by: Dan Merica

With Valentine’s Day lingering only a few short days away, many young men and women on campus are evaluating where they stand with one another, skating the line between two people who are “hooking up” and two people who are dating.

With almost total unanimity, eight students, one male and one female from each grade, stated that hooking up is generally more common that dating at Bentley.

The Women’s Center Executive Board exemplified this sentiment by saying, “We think dating first is less frequent today; the opportunity to date is less available for people our age and on our campus especially.”

Though nearly all the students questioned said that hooking up was favored over dating, many students struggled with why a culture of hooking up is taking root.

For one female senior, the culture exists because guys don’t have to go through the dating process to get what they want. “Guys can get with a girl without having to wine and dine her, and if they can get what they want without taking her out to dinner, why are they going to?” the student said.

A male sophomore agreed with this, stating, “There is no courtship or foreplay in any respect when it comes to hooking up.”

With that type of courtship generally void, most students agreed that the majority of hook ups originate at parties and under the influence of alcohol.

In the statement from the Women’s Center, all the members agreed that alcohol plays a large role in the hooking up culture. “We identify alcohol as a ‘social lubricant.’ It seems that alcohol often enhances one’s confidence and acts as an enabler,” they said. 

The Women’s Center went on to point out that many people use alcohol as a justification for any action they made in the past. “It gives them a sense of removal and allows them to say, ‘I was drunk so it didn’t count,’” concluded the Women’s Center E-Board.

While Bentley may be a culture more grounded in hooking up, there was little to no unanimity in how hooking up is defined from person to person.

When The Vanguard sampled sixty random students in an unscientific study and asked them, “How do you define hooking up?” the responses varied from “just making out,” to “anything between making out and sex,” to “just sex.”
Though the definitions of hooking up may vary, according to a 2006 National Collegiate Health survey, a majority of Bentley students are either opting to not have sex or are monogamous.

According to the results, 63.8 percent of student responded to only having one or no sex partners in the last school year. While the number of people who had no sexual partners in the last year between men and women was comparable, 25.8 and 27.7 percent respectively, the numbers for one sexual partner in the last year show that women are more monogamous than men. According to the survey, 29.4 percent of male had only one partner in the last school year, compared to 47.7 percent of women.

In 2008, a survey of students from all over the United States by the National Collegiate Health Assessment found that a larger number, 75.8 percent of students, reported having 1 or 0 sexual partners in the last 12 months. The sample size for this survey was 26,000 students.

Those questioned who were dating someone, whether on campus or off, did say that sometimes, keeping a relationship can be difficult. One female sophomore described that occasionally parities attempt to broadcast your relationship status to all those in attendance.

“Yes, it is often more difficult to get into certain parties when you are dating someone and people know it,” said a sophomore female as she was describing a stop light party she attended. At the party, you wore red if you were dating someone, yellow if it was complicated and green if you were single.

“In my situation my boyfriend would have been uncomfortable if I wore anything but red,” said the female. She also stated that occasionally guys take her relationship status lightly, something that was confirmed by a male junior.

“It’s a challenge,” said the male. “It’s fun, it’s interesting to see how she reacts to certain things. It’s intriguing,” He continued. A male senior stated that sometimes he looks at boyfriends as just “minor obstacles,” and a male freshman said that he has broken up two relationships in the last three years.

All these opinions clearly point to some subjectivity in the hook up culture at Bentley, Mixed in with all these opinions are clear-cut emotions on the situation, ranging from acceptance to disgust.

While a male sophomore said, “It gets me down. I am sick of all that stuff,” a male junior said that he accepted the hook up culture, saying, “I don’t feel there is a need to have girlfriends and boyfriends on campus.”

Female explanations had just as many emotions, with one female senior saying it would be nice to have a boyfriend that she connected with on campus, and a female sophomore expressing disdain for some males by saying, “Their main priority is not going to be that I want to talk to this girl because she is a cool girl that I want to get to know. Their main priority is to get laid that night or as far as they can go.”

With hooking up becoming more and more common on college campuses around the United States, many believe that social norms will continue to change, causing students to redefine what it means to be in a relationship with one another.

Written by: Dan Merica

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, girls and guys all over campus are trying to define their physical relationships with one another in the hopes of having an enjoyable Valentine’s Day, and perhaps night.

According to Jen Casavant, assistant director of Residence Life, these physical relationships, many of which are defined as “hooking up.”

Even with the possibility of hooking up on the rise, it is the definition of “hooking up” that not only leaves participating students miffed, but also causes staff to pause in an effort to find the right words to describe the phenomenon. Dr. Brenda Hawks, associate director of Counseling and Student Development here at Bentley, says that in the counseling office, “We let the client define what it is.”

Dr. Hawks goes on to explain that each student exhibits his or her own definition of what hooking up is. “I think it really is an umbrella term now for this generation, but it is anything sexual that happens,” said Dr. Hawks.

Casavant agreed with Dr. Hawks, saying that she believed it was “any sort of sexual activity that is not within the context of a committed relationship.”

While the definition of hooking up may differ from person to person, there is some unanimity in the agreement that hooking up can leave the participants at a disadvantage, both now and once they leave Bentley.

“As a therapist, what I see a lot are people who are lonely,” said Dr. Hawks. “There are a lot of lonely people here at Bentley.” Dr. Hawks went on to say that at Bentley a student is lucky if he or she has two or three emotionally intimate friends, “who really know the intimate stuff in his or her life… In some ways that is what a romantic, intimate relationship can give people.”

What comes with that lack of emotional intimacy, according to Dr. Hawks, is an inability to accept yourself as well as partners in relationships.

“The most important thing about being intimate is being able to accept the range of humanity in yourself and in another person,” said Dr. Hawks. “I think especially at Bentley we have this push to be perfect… but inside we all are a little chaotic. What an intimate relationship gives people is just an incredible acceptance of themselves and of the other person. That is what people are missing,” she concluded.

Students look to fill the void that comes with a lack of emotional intimacy, something that Casavant believes can be detrimental in the long run.

“If you don’t have this stable, emotional relationship with someone to rely on, you are constantly replacing it with the physical…” said Casavant, which she believes can eventually create a “sense of anonymity amongst people.”

“If that is all we are seeing one another to be good for, if I am meeting men and all I see is a potential hookup and that is it, what does that do to my sense of self worth?” Casavant pointed out.

When attempting to fill that void with continual emotionless, physical relationships, both Hawks and Casavant pointed to the fact that students will occasionally turn to substances like drugs and alcohol.

Substances also play a large role in whether a hookup occurs at all. Dr. Hawks supports this by stating, “I bet you that most people don’t hook up unless they have been drinking…  and if you have only met people and had intimacy when you are drunk and hooking up, how do you go about dating?”

Bentley students are not the only group of college-aged kids that are participating in the hookup culture. According to a recent Stanford University study, 75 percent of college students have had one hookup by senior year, and the average number of hookup relationships per person over their time in college is 6.9, as opposed to 4.4 traditional dating relationships.

“A long time ago you had a relationship with someone and it could lead to sex,” said Dr. Hawks. “Now you have sex and it could lead to a relationship,” she finished.

The idea behind hooking up, a physical relationship before an emotional relationship, is nothing new, with the “free love” era of the 1960’s and 70’s as evidence of that. However, what may have changed is the way that hooking up effects the development of students.

“I think it hurts males and females differently,” Dr. Hawks said, stating that at this time in development, men are grappling with being comfortable in an emotionally intimate relationship, while women in college are dealing with “autonomy, feeling independent, and owning their strength and power.” This can lead to development issues because, according to Dr. Hawks, “There is a disconnect between what they need and what hooking up gives them.”

This disconnect not only applies to heterosexual couples.“In gay relationships, often the same could be true… they may feel they got what they wanted but not what they needed,” Dr. Hawks explained.

Both Dr. Hawks and Casavant agreed that some cases of hooking up do work and both parties involved get what they need. However, they question the reasons for hooking up as opposed to dating.

“For some people, hooking up works fine,” said Casavant. “But for the vast majority, they convince themselves it’s what they want and that it’s OK. But is it really or are you just doing it because that’s the culture?” she concluded.

“A culture of hooking up has the propensity to be dangerous emotionally, but you can’t make a blanket statement because everyone is different,” said Dr. Hawks. “But when I think about what is necessary to be a full, happy human being, hooking up really doesn’t provide you opportunities to do that,” she finished.

See next week’s edition for Part Two of our Valentine’s Day feature: Intimacy in the Hook Up Era: Students.

“I bet you’ve had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? Yeah. I know that. I know what it is not to feel like you’re in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know… you’re with him. You’re his.” –Patricia, P.S. I Love You

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” –Anna, Notting Hill

“I’ve got ten bucks in my pocket, I have no-nothing to offer you and I know that. I understand. But I’m too involved now. You jump, I jump, remember?” –Jack, Titanic

“Honestly, if you’re not willing to sound stupid you don’t deserve to be in love.” –Emily, A Lot Like Love

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” –Noah, The Notebook

“Every morning I still wake up and the first thing I want to see is your face.” –Gerry, P.S. I Love You

“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” –Kat, 10 Things I Hate About You

“I dream about being with you forever.” –Bella, Twilight

“I came here tonight because when you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” –Harry, When Harry Met Sally

“It may be a week, or a month, but if you can wait, I will find you.” –Cris, Next

“You must know… surely, you must know it was all for you…If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.” –Darcy, Pride and Prejudice

“Shut up; just shut up. You had me at hello.” –Dorothy, Jerry Maguire

Complied by Kat Webber
Quotes courtesy of imdb.com

Written by: Lauren Valerio

Imagine this: you are walking up the Smith stairs heading to class and you see someone approaching you. They glance at you and smile. Or you are sitting in GB 301with your group discussing your business plan when someone from your class catches your eye. Your palms get sweaty, you get chills, and it seems as if swallowing has become more difficult. No worries, you are not getting sick; these are classic symptoms of a crush.

Now Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. How can you possibly tell your crush how you feel? Worry not; asking out your crush is only as hard as you make it. Stay calm and remember these few things when approaching your crush:

Now that you’ve talked to this person, make plans for a later date. You have not found anything that would turn you off from asking them, so why not? Before you get a panic attack, this does not have to be known as an official date, but rather a way of better getting to know each other, which is a better alternative to continually hold conversations in between classes.

Following these key pointers can help you when asking out your crush but, remember that asking out your crush does not always go as one planned.

Do not worry! The worst your crush can say is “no.” Yes, that may sound like the worst possible response, but you can move on from that negative experience and acknowledge the fact that this was not meant to be.
Mourning what could be is the worst possible thing for anyone. Be happy that you did something about it rather than thinking of it as a defeat. Ask yourself this: what if the response is a “yes?!”
You will never know until you at least try. Give it your best and before you know it, your best will catch someone’s attention.

15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day.

73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine’s Day are men, while only 27% are women.

About one billion Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged each year. That’s the second largest card-sending occasion of the year, second only to Christmas.

About 3% of pet owners will give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.
During the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

Alexander Graham Bell applied for his patent on the telephone, an “Improvement in Telegraphy,” on Valentine’s Day, 1876.

Cupid, another symbol of Valentine’s Day, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Cupid often appears on Valentine cards holding a bow and arrows because he is believed to use magical arrows to inspire feelings of love.

In the United States, 64% of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine’s Day with their sweethearts.

Teachers will receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts. Children ages 6 to 10 exchange more than 650 million Valentine’s cards with teachers, classmates, and family members.

The Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare’s lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine’s Day.

The Empire State Building in New York City played a prominent role in the movie Sleepless in Seattle. This year, fifteen couples will take (or renew) their vows on the 80th floor of this famous landmark.

Valentine’s Day is big business. Consumers will spend an average of $77 each on Valentine’s Day gifts this year. E-commerce retailers expect to rack up about $650 million in sales of food, candy, flowers, and other Valentine’s Day gifts.

Complied by Bree Johnson
Courtesy of  www.mydearvalentine.com and www.corsinet.com