Written by: David Entin

At first glance, the phallic appearance and functionality of the Shake Weight may be off-putting to the average user. It is single handedly the most absurdly parody-prepped exercise tool on the market today, and all of the different routines make you look absurd. But the physics should be sound, and upon ripping it from the box and pantomiming all sorts of unforgivable acts, it did indeed prove without a doubt that it could be, at least feasibly, exercised with.
So I took to a short, limited regiment of occasionally remembering to shake it like a Polaroid picture, and watched the DVD once. A rippling muscle/sunglasses combo eluded me for the week I played with this toy, but it certainly did prove to me that it was something I could repetitively rattle. Oh yes, and it was funny.

The Shake Weight is a barbell built to utilize dynamic inertia. In layman’s terms, you shake the weight instead of lifting it. It’s made up of two 2.5-pound weights set onto a spring-loaded grip, and you rattle it in front of yourself until you get tired. It’s not too straining, though it does work some muscles.

The model I was sent to toy with happens to be the women’s model. Now it doesn’t say it on the packaging, but the exclusively smiling women on the packaging, as well as my lovely DVD trainer Lindsey who intends to take me from “flab to fabulous,” seem to hint at the femininity of my product.

Well now, this training video is hilarious. It is too hilarious. I attempted to follow Lindsey through my six-minute workout, and I failed. Over and over I failed. It was too funny, I was laughing too hard. Standing up there, rattling a Shake Weight in front of your chest while staring at your own ridiculous face because, brilliantly, this product is designed with two reflective surfaces on the ends, was just too much to take seriously.

The video itself will give you structure, though I implore you to follow Lindsey’s directions, half crouched over with the ridiculous jiggling toy at your side with her repeating, “And shake, shake, shake,” without laughing. She’ll throw in some active recoveries (i.e. lifting the device as a simple weight), and it’s times like that that you realize the limits of this single weight device.

There’s a Shake Weight for men that’s big and black, so guys can simulate the masturbation experience with a terrifyingly hefty, plastic surrogate.

The Shake Weight has got its merits. The Shake Weights for women are an unassuming whitish color, which will certainly compliment any décor, unless white is not part of the overall color scheme, in which case, it will not. It’s certainly light and compact, so it’s ideal for throwing just about anywhere and forgetting about it. It’s not likely to break, because there isn’t much to break. It has an ergonomic grip which is not uncomfortable to hold, and its previously mentioned reflective surfaces are a truly brilliant touch = kudos to the designer who threw that in.

The Shake Weight will likely be the first thing you dig out of your closet three years from now. Will you see results if you take it seriously? Most likely. The 20-dollar asking price for the women’s model is a bit steep, and the men’s is even steeper.

This will not be the easy exercise device that will finally get you toned after endless excuses kept you out of the gym. If you’re looking for an easy fix, it’s not here. What you’ll have, though, is a decently humorous toy that functions until the novelty of it wears off.
Shake on.