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Question: Describe an experience in which you overcame a challenge. What did you learn from the experience?
Written by: Jen Vida
In Italy, the relationship between young woman and older men is a little different than in America. One day I was sitting outside, and an old man caught my eye as he struggled to walk across a piazza. He had a noticeable limp, and because I was staring, (unintentionally of course), we made eye contact. He said, “Ciao,” and the next thing I knew I was keeping him company as he got his exercise.
He was very sweet, and told me how he missed his wife, who was currently in the hospital. I told him how much I loved the Italian culture; the language, the people, and especially the food. He was thrilled! He said he was a great cook, and invited me to come to his house when his wife came home, along with a friend arriving from Southern Italy. I was ecstatic.
We exchanged phone numbers and he gave me the directions to take a bus to his part of the city. I knew it was risky going to a stranger’s house, and decided I wouldn’t go unless I brought a friend. The next night, he called as promised, but I missed it. Just as I was about to return his call, I eagerly told my host mom about the anticipated dinner.
Unfortunately, she did not share my enthusiasm. My host mom, whom I’ve become very close with and had yet to see mad, was another person.
She said this was a stranger who I could not trust. Half laughing, I was still kind of lost throughout her rapid fire of Italian. I tried to explain to her that he looked like my grandpa and that it seemed like a very innocent gesture, but she would hear nothing of it. Finally, an Italian girl named Sarah* entered the room and became the translator between my host mom and I. My host mom finally calmed down, but was still very insistent that I should not go. I had already said I wouldn’t and tried to have Sarah explain to her that in America an older man is usually not that big of a threat. Interestingly enough, however, Sarah explained to me that in Italy, it is common for older men to have serious interests in younger girls.
In Italy, it is not polite for anyone, never mind an older man, to invite a stranger to their home. Furthermore, these older men have a reputation for being interested in sexual relations with younger girls.
I was appalled and embarrassed. I tried to explain to my host mom that in America, such older man (in their late 70’s or 80’s), usually aren’t the ones known for being “predators.” I simply thought this man’s invitation was part of the Italian’s welcoming nature.
These lessons, perhaps some of the most important ones, are not what you learn in Intermediate Italian. While I understood my host mom, without Sarah, it would have been very difficult for her to understand my perspective.
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