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Written by: Nicole Darvirris
Dear Mistress of Issues,
Being at Bentley is kind of like not being in the real world; I live with all my friends and do my own thing. The only problem is that it makes me worry about the people who aren’t here with me. I’m really worried about my family, with the whole “recession” thing. I don’t know if they are having any problems. How do I make my parents talk to me?
~Parent Problems
Dear Parent Problem,
Being at college is definitely like being in another world; sometimes it’s hard to keep up with what’s happening beyond campus. Bentley is its own little community and world, and while that’s great, there times that you need to check on what’s happening at home.
There is a lot of fear and emotion right now surrounding what will happen with all aspects of our lives. The unknown is something that is hard to be comfortable with, especially when you feel as if you have no control.
The best way to combat this fear is to get information. This “recession” thing is something you can research and become informed about, not only because you are a business student, but because you live in today’s quickly changing world. Knowing what is going on can help you to deal with actual problems and fears instead of irrational ones.
The instinct of any parent is to shield their child from as much sadness, discomfort, and fear as possible. This doesn’t go away even though you have now grown up and are living mostly on your own. It’s natural for your parents to try and not worry you; undoubtedly they want you to focus on going to college and enjoying this time in your life.
However, since you are feeling worried about them, you may have to initiate the conversation. Pick a time to call when you believe they won’t be busy or otherwise stressed about something else. Be calm, and don’t accuse them of hiding things from you. Explain that you want to talk about how they are handling the things that are going on in the world.
They may be hesitant or even refuse to discuss these things with you. Don’t be upset or offended; they may need some time to figure out what to say to you. If they don’t want to discuss things at the moment, tell them that you want to talk about it if they want to in the future.
These kinds of conversations aren’t easy for anyone and cause people to feel embarrassed or ashamed of what is happening to them. Whatever your parents’ response, be understanding and act as an adult with responses and actions that are more of a help than a hindrance.
No matter what the result, it is worth reaching out to your parents about how you are feeling. Though there may be nothing you can do right now, your parents will at least have the comfort of knowing that their child is concerned about them and willing have an adult relationship with them.
Have a question? Email the Mistress at MistressOfIssues@gmail.com You can also Instant Message a question to the screenname MistressOfIssues on AOL Instant Messenger. Names have been changed to protect privacy. This column is for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to replace professional advice.
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