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Someone once said “the two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity,” and they were absolutely correct. No matter where we look around us we are able to see stupid people doing stupid things, and that’s what this column is all about. Each week, “Stupid People” will pay tribute to those individuals who make us all feel just a little bit smarter.
The South Street Seaport was host to Bruce Springstein, Frank Sinatra and George M. Cohan a few weeks ago. Mind you, two of those three musicians are dead, but that wasn’t a problem. Why? Because the songs were sung by animals.
Three hundred pets originally tried out for the contest, with only a lucky eleven making it to the finals and being allowed to perform on stage with their owners. Cecil, a seven-year-old terrier mix, won the contest, beating (barking?) out the other contenders. Cecil serenaded the audience with a rendition of “Mr. Moon” with his owner, Bill Hagemann.
The winner of the contest gets a chance at fame—or at least more fame than they get from being featured in this column. The contests’ top dog wins $1000, a years supply of flea control and a chance to appear in an Advantage commercial.
I just have to wonder. Three hundred animals tried out originally for the position, knowing that they would win all that flea medication. Just how flea infested are these dogs? Can you imagine them all together in one room auditioning for the top positions? There must have been more fleas in that room then Bentley students in a liquor store on a Thursday night.
Now that I think of it, I’m kinda glad I missed that contest. I need fleas about as bad as, um, well about as bad as a dog needs fleas.
Do you have a newspaper article about a stupid person or event? If so, drop it off in The Vanguard office, or e-mail it to Neal_Park@Bentley.edu and you might see it in a future issue.
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