APRIL 20, 2000 – Someone once said that, “the two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity,” and they were absolutely correct. No matter where we look around us we are able to see stupid people doing stupid things, and that’s what this column is all about. Each week, “Stupid People” will pay tribute to those individuals who make us all feel just a little bit smarter.

I have to give a hand to Waltham City Councilor James Regan.

I mean, it’s not every politician who is nice enough to stand up at a City Council meeting on Tuesday, April 12, and publicly announced that he reads The Vanguard, and complimented us on our ability to report news that even he didn’t know about.

However, perhaps before he stands up next time he will realize that the newspaper he was talking about was our April Fools edition, filled with nothing but lies, muckraking, and yellow journalism. The article he referred to? The one that referenced the creation of a nine-story parking garage and the addition of a Taco Bell, Wings Express and a Burger King. Councilor Regan brought a resolution to the floor that requested an investigation into violations of the building code for the construction that Bentley College was planning.

For Councilor Regan and others, there are a few things that you should note before commenting again on that issue:
Lil’ Elian Gonzales will not, in fact, be offered political asylum, either in a dorm at Bentley or at the Presidents house. In my opinion, however, he should be made to swim back to Cuba. He made it here, he can make it home.
We don’t often get letters from Castro or any other dictator.
The same holds true for Bill Clinton.
And Kenneth Starr.
The lectures are, indeed, boring at Bentley, but no one is about to start singing. And on the topic of singing, none of the following are students at Bentley: Britney Spears, Joey McIntyre, Celine Dion, Vanilla Ice or any member of the Dave Matthews Band.
Health Services rarely run ads in The Vanguard posing the question, “Got Crabs?”
Michael Jordan does not coach at Bentley. Andre Agassi does not play at Bentley. And the Masters are not held at Bentley.

I hope Councilor Regan chooses to run for re-election. I love to see landslide votes and I have the feeling he will not be holding the position another term. Do you have a newspaper article about a stupid person or event? If so, drop it off in The Vanguard office, or e-mail it to Neal_Park@Bentley.edu and you might see it in a future issue.